Your cart is currently empty!
Learning to see my own reflection
Hi, it’s me, Jonah, the baritone saxophonist. Remember?
Lot’s of exciting stuff today, so before I do my usual self assessment:
ONE:recorded
The third and final single from my upcoming album with Berke Can Özcan is out today. Stream it on bandcamp (or anywhere else) and pre-order vinyl!
TWO:live
My final show of the year in NYC is next week on Wednesday October 23rd at Three’s Brewing. It is a brand new duo of saxophonists with Nora Stanley. Madison Greenstone + Matthew Ryals are gonna play duo as well. Come! It’s your last chance to see me in NYC this year.
THREE:listening
We Jazz is hosting an online listening party through bandcamp for me and Berke’s new album on Sunday, October 27th. It’s free! We’ll get on together and chat (in writing) while we listen (in sound). If you live anywhere besides Italy, Istanbul, or Helsinki, this is your chance to celebrate the record with us, and you get to do it from home! RSVP here:
October 27th Bandcamp Listening Party
FOUR:self
I feel better in control. I often wonder why. I don’t normally feel very confident that I have the best plan. I do have a plan, I guess that’s something, but I don’t usually feel sure about it. So why the thirst for power?
I think control allows me to avoid being regularly faced with what I most fear, and what I most fear is myself. When I perform alone, I get to watch as the version of myself that I choose to present disappears into each listener and refracts, filtered through each of their experiences. Unrecognizable. They may feel something like joy, curiosity, confusion, or disgust, but it’s theirs. In that moment, my work is a recitation, not a conversation, and I am never truly forced to reckon with who I am in their eyes.
Playing with other musicians is different. With collaboration comes eye contact (yes I took an online quiz, I know), and in those eyes I see my own reflection. Collaboration is about working with other(s), but it is also about reckoning with the realities of how you are perceived by the people you care about.
Am I being selfish? Is it possible that someone could actually care about making music with me as much as I care about making music with them? Is true equality a delusional fantasy? Of course, they aren’t asking these questions. I am. I don’t even really know how I’m being perceived. Maybe I’m the best? Who knows. Regardless, when I choose to let go of control and make music with someone else, I am always afraid. I don’t have much control over that.
It’s ok to be afraid. Sometimes it’s even worth it, if the music is cool.
This year, I decided to be a collaborator. Not just once in a while, but with some consistency. Here are four different collaborative projects I began in earnest this year that are performing around the world over the next month or so:
- A duo with saxophonist Nora Stanley that we’ve been working on for a few months is playing at Three’s Brewing in Brooklyn next Wednesday October 23rd.
- Twin Rocks with Arve Henriksen, Ozan Tekin, Berke Can Özcan, and Ozan Kisaparmak is performing in Istanbul at Borusan Music House on November 9th.
- A very fresh duo with Lau Nau (Laura Naukkarinen) is performing in Helsinki at We Jazz Festival on November 29th.
- My duo with Berke Can Özcan, whose single I shared above, is playing November 30th at We Jazz Festival in Helsinki, December 3rd at 30Formiche in Rome, December 4th at Chiesa Santa Teresa in Perugia, and December 5th at Clan Destino in Faenza.
I’m nervous, but I’m sure as it get’s closer, I’ll be excited.
See you out there,
Jonah